I have now graduated from what we in sweden call the gymnasium, I really dont know how to translate that accuratly but basically it's the three years of school which you spend studying what youre interested in (hopefully) after graduating 9th grade. I chosed art
. So yeah, now it is three years since I graduated 9th grade. Aaah it feels like yesterday
that I finally left that hellhole behind, now it feels just sad to have to leave, this school is really amazing. Though I'm glad I dont need to study boring subjects again.
These three years has really been the best of my life, which may be stupid to say because my life has just begun. But comparing these three years of artschool with those between 7th and 9th grade is like comparing lays chips to anything. ha ha, okey, stupid joke, but you get my meaning. It has been wonderful and a part of me does absolutley not want to leave. I´ll miss everything, I felt so home in this school and I'm so happy I made the right choise. I feel really sorry for all people who doesnt get to experience the same. I've gained so much confidence and learnt so much, I've met the most amazing friends:
, and ofcourse Amanda who as far as I know doesnt have a DA account.
But lets get to what may actually intrest you people, maybe. So heres what the future will hold:
My future irl
So I have applied to college/university where I will study for subject teacher in history and art. Despite the fact I feel like I need to sleep for a year or two I'm going back to school already this autumn, if I'm accepted. I'm just so exhausted. But I cant take a year off since my parents doesnt really like the idea of gap year and I understand them and their arguments for it. I'm just worried I might have a breakdown in collage. I dunno really, I just feel its comming. A part of me wish I wont get accepted so I cant apply again until next year anyway. It's not like I don't like school, I really do love learning but you know the feel when youre drawing and its really late and youre really tired and you wanna go to sleep but godamnit drawing is so much fun, well it's a bit like that. I love learning but I'm just tired. I'm not even sure I´ll like teaching, its just my best plan really. No need to worry about it now I guess.
My future online
This is quite difficult for me, while I really like this site and the friends I've made, the people I've met and all the great support I've been given, the latest year has been a rollercoaster of emotional drama. As a person with not much experience with friend-related drama since childhood I freaked out and didnt know how to handle stuff and just kept myself offline for as much as I could to avoide it. While there, in the mythical land of reality that we all come here to escape I remembered I actually have a offline life that I dont want to miss out on. I don't want to miss out on any of the things happening here either but I need to find a balance between these two places. And thats why this journal is so long. Below is a list of changes that will be made.
So heres the thing, earlier this year I realised one source to my stress was due to internet responsiblities. So I need to cut down on those. I can't concentrate on anything if I keep feeling dissapointed for not doing the other.
* Imogen roleplaying project: One of these responsebilities is the imogen-project, I am terribly sorry for having to do this. But I need to shut it down. As one of the involved send me a note some weeks ago asking if we´d ever get back to it I realisde I need to choose what to do. I replied with how I really do want to continue it, and thats true, but theres things keeping me from it. And I can't explain to you all these reasons out of respect for privancy and also the fact it would take ages to actually do so. But in short: when I started this project I wasn't expecting a shitstorm of emotional drama to rain over me for the following year. (If you are by any chance reading this Krystian that shitstorm is far from only about you, there are problems I never told you about, so please don't blame yourself, I'm sorry for all that happened and for the many stupid things I've said. Wherever you are and whatever youre up to right now I wish you good luck, and please take good care of yourself).
Again, I'm terribly sorry to all of those involved in the imogen roleplay project, I know how much you worked on characters and their stories and how excited you, as well as I, was about it. But I really need to cut down my internet responsiblity and that means I can not be in charge of this project no more. Though if anyone of you are interested in taking over the project and be in charge so that you all may carry on without me that is completly fine. For those involved reading this here please leave a comment so I know you're aware, if not everyone sees this I´ll have to inform them separately.
* The soul calibur roleplaying group: I'm not canceling this group, nor giving it away, I hope to get working on it myself too but I really want members there to sort of handle things themselves. I didnt make it so I could point and tell everyone what to do. If you like roleplaying with your soul calibur OC´s find a friend over the group and start one! I wish to see people use it but it seems they always wait for me to start a project. The group is a group for everyone
so anyone can start a project, small or big, for fun or serious, anyhting you´d like. * ChaiXianghua fangroup: I still love this character, but the group I dedicated to her havent been my top priority lately and that is why I havent accepted the latest art sumbited to it. If you really want your art in the group send another request and I´ll try find time now that I got no school.
* Tumblr: Remember that sketch tumblr account I made? well I deleted it and replaced it with a roleplaying blogg. Problem is the e-mail I used for it is the schoolmail and it will be deleted later this summer. So I'm probebly gonna delete this roleplaying blog too. I wont make another blog for either roleplay or sketches in quite a while because even if I like sketching and roleplaying there are more important things for me to do.
* Speedpaint: Since the googleaccount I had for school, that my speedpaint of Xiia and Edroc speedpaint is uploaded on, is going to be deleted later this summer I am probebly not going to finish this speedpaint. I've already worked a bit on it without filming, because filming the screen actually makes my laptop overheated. I may make a speedpaint on a more simple artwork sometime later in the future but this time I'm not gonna film the rest of the creation. And probebly not going to upload the part where I colour their hair (that I actually recorded).
Projects finishing and starting:
* My Soul calibur V Hilde 2p cosplay will be first priority since närcon summer is next month and I'm only half way to finished.
* I'm opening point commissions soon, this is a promis I made my art master earlier this year, since of the shitload of drama I had dramatic reactions over I havent been able to focus much on her tutoring, Im really sorry for that Philly and I will make it up to you as good as I can. More info about these will be made soon.
Answering comments issue:
So yeah, this is a issue Ive had for some time and its not going to be solved that easy. I keep promising to get better on answering comments but I dont think you guys know how much time it take for me to write answers. I'm always carefull about what I answer, it's not just simply writing some shit and hit send, some answers can take about a quarter and some even hours to make. It's because I think very closley when I answer, some are so long or complicated or just so damn sweet they deserve better than just a simple thank you. Right now I have 231 replies and 37 comments (the oldest one is from July last year).
Since its summer break I may have time to make another answer as many comments as I can day but my cosplay comes first.
Unnecessary Information: I was writing this at Thursday, the day before my graduation, so it feels kinda weird to say Ive graduated before I actually have. I'm not uploading it until friday afternoon or saturday morning anyway, so once youre reading it I will have graduated.